Sandeep Kulshrestha

It starts with a void

2011-05-22T09:18:00.001-07:00

It all starts from a void. A state of mind, which craves for another being in our hearts, in our life. But not all are attuned to this thought process. Those who don’t, they miss an important revelation in life, which brings us all close to our real self, our consciousness. Interestingly, the very act of filling this void is called “falling in love”, probably because we fall from a void into a well of duality and we try to become one by emphasising things like, two bodies but one soul etc. This all goes on a while and then we realise that forcefully diluting a void doesn’t help as we expect the other to behave in the same way as we do and then it leads to a friction. So, the revelation comes and the void-fillers look for some other way to fill the void which may include erratic moods, habits and some temporary affairs. Although this doesn’t necessarily happen to all who fall in love. People who ‘rise in love” and who give freedom in a relationship always have an upper hand but again there is not a perfect way to be in love. But as it starts with a void, it ends in a void, sometimes in a way of break up in a relationship and sometimes separation through the natural way after long years of a blissful relationship. But those who don’t experience this phenomenon miss out of one beautiful part of life. Love is an experience which gives a reality check, tests our conscience, makes us softer, milder and at times may lead to bitterness, but that’s what this feeling is. In a mortal life, there is no other thing which is so scintillating and fierce at the same time.

I met her…

2011-04-23T23:24:00.001-07:00

I met her in my frivolous dreams,

many a times at every quarter of the day

for me she doesn't exist as just another

matter made of electrons and neutrons

she has a voice and she has a physical form

unsaid and unrelenting qualm of irresistibility

sometimes i wonder whether she is a ethereal body

or a surreal hallucination

as she doesn’t wish to meet me

maybe we met light years back

in a different planet of different suns and different moons

but there is a connect of magnetic multitudes somewhere

her voice does something to me

its a one way connectivity

pulls me out of my reverie

sometimes like a subtle arousal

maybe i will never meet her

or probably will

in some another form,

light years from now

in an unexplored galaxy, where the thoughts melt

and a closeness of the self is felt

she may feel that it works well this way

but i feel a little dismayed

i want to see the matter in its physical form

i want to see, feel and merge

a communion of two metaphysical minds

with a dose of crimson burst of the stars and galaxies

i just am in an alchemy of a chemistry

and i am dying to know some magic

which would pull her to me

i am dreaming on....

Tools to Escape

2011-04-09T22:16:00.000-07:00

A life without adventure is likely to be unsatisfying, but a life in which adventure is allowed to take whatever form it will is sure to be short.
Bertrand Russell

Drugs, sex, drinking, partying, having multiple affairs, smoking (not necessarily in that order) etc are deemed to be the tools of merriment and rejoice for those who don’t deny these tools as one of the means of the endless joys which they seek. But eventually they become the tools to escape, escape from the mundane construct of the mind, from the bitter truth of being alone or a feeling of helplessness which is again constructed by them.

At times people think that the established norms of morality make them little dry and there is a fear of them becoming too puritan to even think of escapism, which motivates them to explore new territories. We all seek ways to escape, in one way or the other. For example, a book can lead me to mental ecstasy, for someone else smoking pot is equivalent to spiritual gaiety. Some feel a sense of thrill in having affair with married people and this is not an urban phenomena. If people read local vernacular newspaper, they will know that there are a lot of reports of people running away from villages with their beloveds who are actually married to other people. Sometimes, there are genuine reasons of hurt and betrayal but sometimes it’s all about escaping which people construct as “being themselves”. If such people are told that they were escaping, they will definitely deny

Sigmund Freud had said long time back that that humans are born "polymorphously perverse", meaning that any number of objects could be a source of pleasure, which means even escapism is the very nature of human beings. We just can’t be happy with the status quo, although tools of escapism are different for diverse types of people. The philosophy of meditation hence has emerged. People who can’t manage their escapism become confused and chaotic and they start losing focus in life, hence finally moving towards depression. Smoking pot once in a blue moon may not harm someone, but being addicted will. Hence, escapism works when you escape back to where you were originally and then try some new tool. If someone escapes into the routine say having drinks once in a while, it wouldn’t lead to a lot of turmoil. But if he/she start drinking every day, one day the liver may give in, leading a person towards the biggest escape. Similarly, if a person has casual flings after a break-up, it may help overcome the pain of parting, but when there are multiple affairs, it would definitely lead to turmoil.

Escapism is not fully about being alone. It’s all about being bored with the mundane. A happily married man may still fall for a physical relationship with another woman, for a change or variety. Socially, it may still not be accepted by the pseudo morals because it is not the conventional way to act. But of course such people are few in numbers. At times we escape unconsciously, making our mind accept the fact that we wish to do something new, something different. From just being alone, to be in crowd, reading a book, having sex to anything else, they are just escape tools because there is subtle understanding that we need to do something new as this life is just a short span.

Buddhist philosophy says that there is no way to escape so accept your life as it is, but human mind will find its own way to create a new philosophy. So, let’s escape somewhere, to our heart’s content!

My beliefs v/s theirs

2011-03-20T08:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder what makes me different from my parents or siblings and whether there is any need to think on those lines, but then I realise that the difference is in beliefs, not in love or warmth. My mother has a belief that sneezing is a bad omen while going out of the house while my belief is that it is just another bodily function. Or say, serving three chapattis is a bad omen, while for me; I simply find all this funny. More so, she doesn’t give even three clothes for Ironing! And then I used to feel frustrated at times as to how getting into lousy beliefs they had wasted golden moments of life because according to me life has can be much more beautiful if we shed certain beliefs which anyhow don’t really help. I used to feel that how good it would have been if my parents had simplified things for themselves rather than immersing themselves in superstitions, beliefs and by-products of such beliefs like fasting, having a particular type of sweet on a particular festival etc. My belief is that spirituality means awakening of a consciousness within, which should lead to a transformation and also that education should actually enhance an individual’s intellect. My parents and my siblings are highly educated but still sometimes their beliefs made me feel that they didn’t use the logical frame of mind while believing in certain religious things. I have studied Psychology hence later on I rationalised all this by believing that they were, “conditioned” by their parents perhaps.

Their beliefs are more of religious beliefs that one has to be “God Fearing” and that all rituals have to be followed and even a change in a set pattern is not acceptable. But then, their life is dedicated to all this, rituals, superstitions and complications related to them. I try to disown all that which makes life a complicated and messy affair. For me, any day can be a celebration. Out of the blue I might decide to have festivities any day, but that’s my belief. My understanding is that God is nothing but an energy or quantum physics which makes this Universe run and not a person sitting somewhere and deciding the course of destiny of trillions of people and I am in awe of that energy. It is so mysterious and mystical.

In-fact, the symbol of a spiritual freedom movement, Mahatma Gandhi never believed in any superstitions or prayers etc. For him, being truthful to oneself was the greatest religion. He would'nt have approved to see all this happening in a large part of his country.

Hence, to me, life means living each moment with awareness and enjoying each moment as it comes. But now, I realise that following all superstitions probably make my parents, my siblings and most of the people I am fond of feel happy and content, which at the end of the day is something which I actually wish for. At an old age, there are a lot of fears and my parents try to negate those fears by following certain things strictly. Because of them I am breathing on this planet, hence I can by all means make my life joyful, with their blessings, and follow my own path, while transforming my life with each passing day. As of now, I am a learner in this spiritual space and my status is “somewhere between agnostic and spiritual”! I wish to live the quote of Gandhi where he said, 'you must be the change you want to see in this world!'

Words

2011-01-25T03:08:00.000-08:00

What can it be called

a mutual conspiracy of words

or a subtle coincidence?

As whenever i speak with you

It’s always the right conversation

sometimes there may be dearth

of subconscious thoughts

sometimes there
is an inherent wroth

but words
when they come innocently

in my mind

without much thinking

create that intellectual stimulus

which I crave for

any moment
of the day..

My Self Esteem: A Positive affirmation

2011-01-18T21:01:00.000-08:00

I am alone but not lonely, in my battle

with the extremes

Yes I have my dreams

but I will not compromise on my self esteem

as that is all what I have

nobody can tarnish it

without my concurrence

I know I have to cherish it

as that is all what I have

I offer my competence, my skills

and get my compensation as reward

I don’t play politics

I don’t play any gimmicks

I just do what I have to do and

what is expected from me

beyond that, I spread warmth

with my pleasing demeanor

I am humane and gentle

and I carry this mantle

all the time

everything is good around me

or that’s how it seems

But I will never compromise on my self esteem

as that is all what I have

Effervescent

2011-01-14T05:26:00.001-08:00

What should I call this feeling? Exhilaration, endearment, attachment, attraction or just plain friendliness? I am not sure what to call it but whenever my thoughts revolve around her, they don’t become mere thoughts and the thoughts get transcended to a different realm and as a result probably I get meditative. I am sure it is neither attachment nor endearment but it is in a way attachment of one consciousness towards the other. This may sound philosophical but I don’t intend to be like that. Life is full of strange and subtle relationships which cannot be defined. My relationship with her adds value to the thoughts, emotions and all that which brings endless joys. I must say that she is a face in the crowd, who spreads her infectious positivity and brings happiness and joy to all of who she knows and cares for. And, I also believe that she cares for those who even she doesn’t know as humanity and the very spirit of life is all pervasive, omnipresent and all of us are the extension and the part of the same existence, connected and constantly giving signals to each other.. I still don’t know what this feeling is but I know for sure that this feeling is forever and I am overwhelmed by her. Maybe I should call this feeling as “Meditative Connectedness” or “Surreal Attachment”. I am really not sure. I feel relaxed in her presence and if I have one word for her, it would be “effervescent”

A Tribute to a Fulfilled Life: Pradeep Vijayakar

2011-01-03T10:08:00.000-08:00

I recently had to come to terms with a physical loss, loss of a human being who always throbbed with the excitement of his creative mind, whose vibrant yet amazing sense of being made him being loved by all. Never withstanding the fact that all human beings have to go away someday and the law of the universe’s correlation with this is all pervasive, a loss finally is a loss. I am just a layman who believes that there is some metaphysical concept of a soul leaving the body and joining back the source, but still how can I forget him, as I have seen him in flesh and blood, not so long ago. I am talking about Pradeep Vijayakar, officially related to me as a brother-in-law but I always revered him as a father figure. His mind was chaotically creative, which resulted in him talking about some weird revolutionary ideas whenever we used to sit and chat. He used to be a thinker, creator and an ideologue. Fascinated by Vedanta and its spiritual theories, he used to share thoughts of spending time in the company of saints, once he would have retired from The Times of India, where he was working as an Assistant Editor. He knew the who’s who of the sporting world, but that’s about his profession. My endearment and gratitude towards him is not influenced by the fact that he was renowned all over the world, but owing to the fact that he was genuinely humane, effortlessly friendly and very caring.

I remember meeting him last month, after he was detected with the advance stage of pancreatic cancer. He told me that he was happy that there is enough financial sustenance for the family, if he goes away some day. That sounded prophetic to me, although I did tell him that he would be cancer free and healthy one day, of which he said nothing. He was happy that both his lovely daughters had found great husbands and they would take care of them. He was of course worried for his wife but knew that she was strong enough to cope up and keep on living meaningfully.

Pradeep Vijayakar left for an unknown abode on 01 01, 2011, and the total of these numbers is a 6. The passionate lover of cricket’s last inning ended with a six, and he won with the innings of a fulfilled life. I have said “unknown abode” as I am not really sure that where a human being goes after he leaves his body, however wherever he would have gone, he would have attained enlightenment of the highest order. The resultant energy field tells me that we need not shed any tears, but to apply the profound liveliness and humanity in our day to day lives. Tears will not bring him physically back but smiles of good moments spent with him will guide us towards the future.

I don’t like people saying, “Pradeep Vijayakar is no more”. I will rather say that he has changed his form. Although invisible to us, he has probably inherited a new planet and is looking at us with a different technology, a different mind and has given a gift of a halo around all of us. Every human being has a potential of being a God but his was a little special case. His life itself was a blissful one.

Pradeep, Vijay KAR (Pradeep, be victorious)

Gift (small poem)

2009-10-06T05:36:00.000-07:00

I gifted you

the pale sunlight

in the morning

you gave me

a dreamy look

as my reward

Oh and she is hasty

2009-09-09T04:16:00.000-07:00

I saw her the other day
delectable and formidable
with a raw oomph
wearing white,
which looked turquoise
she was a challenge
sitting deliciously close
was that deliberate
how do I calibrate
she is a mystery
I am gonna find out
If there is a history
Oh and she is hasty
and nasty yet tasty
toasty, nutcracker
wild rocker, sensuous shocker
I dream her, see her everywhere
I want to see her, have her
grab her, tease her, please her
I just want to know her, feel her
steal her
don’t know what to say
I guess I am swayed
and I pray
that I see her
when I open my eyes….

Aham Brahmasmi

2009-08-25T07:38:00.000-07:00

We as human beings are always occupied in finding the imaginary God outside, in temples, mosques, churches etc. The search for God can be achieved by all this if we are the true seekers, which most of us are not. So if an untrue seeker goes to a temple and in real sense he is interested to get his desires fulfilled by God, he is sadly mistaken. However, if one bows the head towards God, without asking anything from Him and just showing gratitude towards Him that He has given you life as a human being; your prayers can be answered. However, the prayer in a temple is useless until you understand that you are a consciousness which has to one day dissolve into the sub consciousness, the param atma. To know this, to reach the goal of a true conversation with God, you need to understand that you have a God within, in the form of the consciousness you are. You have to declare to yourself "aham brahmasmi" or I am the Brahma. Aham Brahmasmi means that the God within is, the consciousness, is Brahma, the creator. It’s through our own thoughts, the ultimate creator, our everyday reality is created.

To begin with, we have to understand the consciousness within and for that we have to meditate and look at our daily actions and activities. Just sit back and think at the end of the day that how much time did you spent on what. Were you angry with someone, were you biased with someone just because he was of different caste or religion, did u have jealously within you etc. If you had more moments of all these varied emotions, rather than that of a virtue called Compassion, it can be said that you are still fast asleep in your own world and don't even plan to wake up to the ultimate truth that you are simply a consciousness like others and consciousness cannot be a Hindu consciousness or a Muslim consciousness as the source of our creation is one. That energy, that vibration and that pulse of life and the consciousness within is manifest in the whole concept of the trinity of Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva. Brahma symbolises the creator within, Vishnu symbolises the preserver and Shiva is the dissolving state. The energy of lingam or the Shiva lingam is ever flowing and every human being has that positive sexual energy which is also a symbol of oneness with the whole. Thats the reason why water and milk is being poured in temples all across as life has started in water and thats the creative force within as well. So, we have a Shiva within us. We all raise families and preserve ourselves too, which means that we have a Vishnu within us as well. And Brahmand or the Cosmos is a just a minute fraction of the whole, a place where we are all existing so that we can learn to be God ourselves. Its the low end of the creation where we become petty individuals, until we recognize the power of consciousness within.

The declaration to self that “Aham Brahmasmi” is not merely a declaration. It means that you are no more a Hindu or a Christian or a Muslim and just a consciousness, a spectator of this universal drama of life and death, of celebration and suffering, of every paradox in day to day life. The day you forget yourself and just recognize that you are not different from any other living form, your positive energy becomes a prayer and you achieve sainthood and bliss. For at least once a day just ponder that why is so much suffering existing in our world. The answer is that we are all involved in issues like animosity, hatred, jealously, greed, one one-upmanship and ego. When we all have to leave this planet one day, in other journeys, why do we bother in small and petty issues. The day you awaken your already omnipresent consciousness, you suddenly have a feeling of enlightenment and you just become a watcher, a drishta and you see things passing you by, not effecting you as you realise that it’s just a drama, a cosmic illusion, a dream that we are all living.

There are different methods of awakening the consciousness within. One can be a kundalini meditation which go back to the roots, the void where we come from, the source of life or God. We take in the cosmic energy, resulting in the rise of the Kundalini energy, activating our chakras. There are different organisations/institutions who offer some courses on this. Similarly, other kinds of meditation act on the same impulse that we are all a consciousness within, a God ourselves. Once this feeling of detachment with ourselves and association with the whole makes us connect with other consciousness, suddenly all hatred disappears and we can connect with others without feeling any emotion but that of compassion, the true nature of the existence. Once you get this realization, you are automatically committed to oneness with everyone and everything and the only religion which exists is of oneness and nothing else. The ancient concept of Vasudhaiv Kutumbakam also means oneness of the universe. Hence, the realisation of Aham Brahmasmi converts your negativity into positive energy, and prepares you for oneness with the universe and oneness with the whole, creating an aura of sainthood within you and all around you.

An Interesting talk by Osho

2009-08-25T03:07:00.000-07:00

Notes to Myself

2009-08-25T02:57:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, a small book changes your life and this is one of them which made me change my thoughts about life. This small book by Hugh Prather consists of notes scribbled by Hugh Prather for himself. For example, he has written on the second page;

She may die before morning. But I have been with her for four years. There’s no way I could be cheated if I didn’t have her for another day. I didn’t deserve for one minute, God Knows.

And I may die before morning.

What I must do is die now. I must accept the justice of death and the injustice of “more” life. I have had a good life-longer than many, better than most. Tony died when he was twenty. I have had thirty-two years. I couldn’t justify another day. I did not create myself, it is a gift. I am me, that is the miracle. I had no right to remain a single hour. Some remain a single minute. And yet, I had thirty-two years.

This book really acts forcefully on you, making you aware who you are and what you are supposed to do in this world. It makes you think that there is still time to hug your loved ones and be full of gratitude that you are still living!

This book is available on amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Notes-Myself-Struggle-Become-Person/dp/0553273825

Going beyond superstitions and rituals

2009-08-24T21:56:00.000-07:00

There are people practicing different religious beliefs in this Country, with a very few who may be atheists. Different religions have some basic rituals and then when we look into caste and sub caste groups, there are furthermore rituals. I am probably in a minority when i say that i don’t really think rituals have something to do with religion. These are all man-made. There are some people who don’t drink or have non vegetarian food on Tuesdays, as if they are doing some kind of favour to God. It is in a way saying to God, “See, I sacrificed by not having non vegetarian food. Bless me for this, so that i earn a lot more money”. People should sit back, relax and think about their life. They tend to spend their entire life in making their lives complicated, by following rituals. Let us follow rituals for the sake of making ourselves self aware about who we are and what we do in this small life given by either God or this existence or by some supernatural power or by theories of Charles Darwin. We may have different ways to see why we live but finally we should be thinking as to what is the best ritual to make us an extremely good human being.

Creative Human Resource Management

2009-08-24T21:51:00.000-07:00

Human Resource Management as a term and as a phrase is used by almost each and every organisation in the world. Some practice it with professionalism, some use it as a jargon while some use it for the sake of using it. However, the focus is still on “Managing” rather than “developing” and hence we have rigid performance standards, without a focus on “individual potential”. Now, with new HR tools like Strengthsfinder, more and more organisations are focusing on employee strengths rather than limitations. Creative Human Resource management means building individual and team strengths by a systematic process of engaging employees, giving them creative freedom, providing flexibility at work place, letting employees work for specific hours and providing enough work life balance. This, along with a committment for being a best practices organisation does wonders.

Living my life

2009-08-24T21:12:00.000-07:00

I am a simple, aware, conscious and imaginative human being and i know i am taking this risk of praising myself. I am not critical of such people who give crores of rupees to a temple and look at the poor with disdain. Thats their thinking and i can’t change that. Similarily i cannot change my mother who still belives that when you sneeze, its better not to venture out as it would lead to a bad day or eating three chapatis is inauspiscious as the number “three” is not good. What i can possibly do is to change myself as this is the only thing which is in my hand, to the extent my knowledge and my efforts lead me to it. I live my life with a vision, to “change” for the better, be it my thoughts or my actions. Welcome to my Blog!